(Make) 100 Bastards

100 character classes, based on music prompts provided by our Kickstarter backers.

Made for use with Micah Anderson’s excellent RPG Bastards, but you can use them with any game system as PC backgrounds or interesting NPCs.

Also available at DriveThruRPG

Contents

100 Bastards Playlist
The 100 Bastards
Bonus / Oopsy Bastards
Bastard Flavors: Tables & Generators
Bastard Collections: 5- and 10-bastard groups
Credits

100 Bastards Playlist

Songs submitted to the Make 100 Bastards Kickstarter.

Whenever possible, support artists by purchasing music and merch directly from them

The 100 Bastards

Roll d100. That’s your bastard.

While some bastard names have an implied gender because of their original song reference, play any of these as any gender you’d like, and use appropriate pronouns respectively. Be a bastard, not an asshole.

#	Bastard	#	Bastard	#	Bastard	#	Bastard
1	Ace of Spades	26	Drummer	51	L’Enfant Sauvage	76	Straw Worker
2	Actress	27	El Mark	52	Lonesome Ranger	77	Subterranean Homesick Alien
3	Ancient One	28	Electric Lady	53	Master Killer	78	Sun Killer
4	Atom Heart Mother	29	End of Days Soldier	54	Master of Skullcrusher Mountain	79	Super Rich Kid
5	Automatic Husband	30	Ex-Diamond Dealer	55	Memory Vampyre	80	Super Trouper
6	Baby Criminal	31	Extraordinary	56	Miss Understanding	81	Temper
7	Black Emperor	32	Faker	57	Ogre Hunter	82	The Book of Right On
8	Blue Lotus Adept	33	Famous Preacher	58	Organ Donor	83	The Eight Who Are One
9	Bomb	34	First Person Shooter	59	Owl Sparker	84	The Guitar
10	Boxer	35	Fool	60	People Vulture	85	The Man Who Sold the World
11	Brainwasher	36	Gambler	61	Periodic Ghost	86	The Spirit of Radio
12	Bug Collector	37	Getting into Knives	62	Perturbator	87	Time Collector
13	Candy Man	38	Ghost Magnet	63	Player of Cold	88	Turbo Killer
14	Cave Dweller	39	Ghost Rider	64	Potential Homo Superior	89	Two-Headed Dog
15	Chainmelter	40	Giant Tiger Fighter	65	Pumpkinhead	90	U₃Buzz Basic
16	Chauffeur	41	Hand Thief	66	Puppet Master	91	Vengeful Mariner
17	Child of the Rising Sun	42	Haruspex	67	Rage Rat	92	Volcano
18	Church Ghost	43	Headless Thompson Gunner	68	Recluse	93	Voodoo Chile
19	City Slicker	44	Heart of Steel	69	Regulators (for 2 characters)	94	Wandering Stranger
20	Coffin Carrier	45	Heir to Despair	70	Sick as Fuck	95	Wayfinder/Waymaker
21	Dark Destroyer	46	Human Fly	71	Sin Citizen	96	Wayward Son of Man
22	Demon-Eyed	47	Hunter	72	Sonic Rebel	97	Winnebago Warrior
23	Devil Dogs	48	Hurt	73	Sorrow Harvester	98	Wonderboy
24	Disgraced Legionnaire	49	Infinity Kisser	74	Statue of the King	99	Young Lover
25	Doomed Sailor & The Captain’s Corpse	50	Kitten	75	Strange Formation	100	Zone Stepper

1. Ace of Spades

You are a gravedigger who dreams of winning big at games of chance. Start with your ancestral spade that can dig through any surface (2d6).

ManaRampMatt: “Ace of Spades” by Möterhead

2. Actress

Start with a script, a black dress, a hardened heart, and +1 Wisdom. Test Luck to convincingly impersonate anyone.

ManaRampMatt: “Cleopatra” by the Lumineers

3. Ancient One

You are river and stone, moaning to the moon, swooning in the sunset. Start with the spells Whisper to Water, Stone to Dust, and Metal to Rust. A lily builds a home inside your bones.

Krustentier: “Scissor Paper Rock” by Indica

4. Atom Heart Mother

Once per day, birth a new element: a novel and powerful combination of particles and forces. Describe the power it gives you. Once you use its power, it grows up and leaves for another dimension.

Moxie: “Atom Heart Mother” by Pink Floyd

5. Automatic Husband

Test Luck to become a target’s Husband. Start with a pen, an imaginary map, and a birth chart made by a special commission of Navajo basketball coaches and blonde ladies.

Eric Swanson: “Automatic Husband” by Fiery Furnaces

6. Baby Criminal

You are a criminal mastermind but also a toddler. You wear a hat made from a squirrel you killed and a leather jacket taken from the corpse of the first man that ever crossed you. You can smoke anything, but have to nap twice a day, and always dream of building a nuclear device. Your mother is crying, somewhere.

Kaisa: “Baby Criminal” by Viagra Boys

7. Black Emperor

You have five eyes, all blind, but each of which can detect (and emit) a different Power: fire, static, void, sleep, storm. Start with five loyal advisers (d6+3 HP), one for each Power; they each have a spell associated with the power.

Delphi: “Fire at Static Valley” by Godspeed You! Black Emperor

8. Blue Lotus Adept

Start with the standard pale blue hooded robes of The Order, and three cherished blue lotus flowers. Choose one spell that reflects your Path within The Order: Life from Lotus, Light from Lotus, Longing from Lotus, Lethargy from Lotus, or Lunacy from Lotus.

Chris Air: “blue lotus” by Sweeps

9. Bomb

You are a living bomb. Once per day, you detonate, dealing 2d6 damage to anyone in proximity. You float on as a ghost and can test Luck to influence the physical world. The next morning you are whole again, ticking, ticking, ticking.

Starling Ridgeway: “The Bomb” by Pigeon John

10. Boxer

Your fists are deadly weapons (d6). You have +1 Strength and +1 Dexterity. You are always able to find poor, hidden lodgings known only to The Ragged People. Start with a pocket full of mumbles.

ManaRampMatt: “The Boxer” by Simon and Garfunkel

11. Brainwasher

You can remove people’s brains, wash and soak them in various baths and solutions, and put them back in. Cures mental ailments and ends any charmed conditions or possession. 10% chance that it washes away a recent memory. This process takes about 30 minutes and does not harm the subject. (Yeah, you’re that good). Start with d6 spare brains in jars.

The Big Jumbowski: “Brainwasher” by Daft Punk

12. Bug Collector

Start with a pet centipede, millipede, and praying mantis you swear is a reincarnated priest out to get you. You can identify any bug. Spend a Luck point to avoid being stung, pinched, bit or otherwise harmed by any kind of bug.

Anonymous: “The Bug Collector” by Haley Heynderickx

13. Candy Man

You always have the candy someone most desires. Start with the spells Wrap a Rainbow in a Sigh, Separate Sorrow, and Dip Tomorrow in a Dream. People feel compelled to tell you their childhood wishes. You can eat anything as if it were candy.

Halohand: “The Candy Man” by Sammy Davis Jr.

Candy Man (alt. take)

You are a human-sized Candy Golem intent on making the world taste good. You can peel confections from your own body that, when eaten, heal minor wounds (d6). You take d4 damage for every piece of yourself you give, which heals by normal means. You cannot benefit from eating your own magic. You carry a secret sadness that’s all your own.

STATIONS: “The Candy Man” by Aubrey Woods, Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (soundtrack, 1971)

14. Cave Dweller

You are a cannibal. You walk on your hands as easily as your feet (+1 Dexterity). By staring long and deep at someone, you realize a truth that will refresh their broken mind. It’s empty in the valley of your heart, but you’ve left all your fears behind. Start with a noose around your neck.

ManaRampMatt: “The Cave” by Mumford & Sons

15. Chainmelter

You were imprisoned for countless years, weighed down by the chains of despair and iron ones, too. One night you heard the sound of distant stars shifting into alignment, and your skin began to glow and pulse and burn. Your shackles melted away, and you were free. Now you seek to free all from their chains. Start with the spell Fire Eyes.

Marren MacAdam: “Iron Shackles” by Luzifer

16. Chauffeur

You drive any vehicle with perfect, practiced professionalism. Start with the spell Sing Blue Silver and a mind full of glass splinters. Engines drone in time with your beating heart.

Halohand: “The Chauffeur” by Duran Duran

17. Child of the Rising Sun

You have a bottle of booze, a suitcase, a deck of cards, and a ball and chain. You owe dangerous people serious money. Start with double the normal amount of Luck, but your Luck doesn’t replenish each morning. When you run out of Luck, something dreadful happens.

Starling Ridgeway: “The House of the Rising Sun” by The Animals

18. Church Ghost

You can hear emotions, find anyone that is hidden, and see through scars. You know that souls cannot actually be tainted. Start with the spell Eternal Merge. You glow faintly like a candle.

D. Nivens: “Cirice” by Ghost

19. City Slicker

You wear the finest urban-outdoor fashions (+1 AC) and insist on paying for items with something called a “credit card.” You have Advantage when navigating urban areas, and Disadvantage when navigating anywhere else. You’re just trying to get through the day.

Billy Kearns: “City Slicker” by Ginger Root

20. Coffin Carrier

You have an adult-sized coffin. You can always carry it, no matter how heavy it gets, as long as the lid will close. You play in Satan’s band. Test Luck to summon a bandmate Devil to your aid (6HP, rend/burn/curse). Start with a pack of cigarettes and a bottle of cheap whiskey.

Starling Ridgeway: “I Carry the Coffin” by Ghoultown

21. Dark Destroyer

You are a shadow called out of a fresh fallen corpse by The Powers to complete one last mission. You cannot be killed until it is finished. But you can definitely suffer. Start with the spells Behold Terror and Annihilation.

Jon Neddo: “Indestructible” by Disturbed

22. Demon-Eyed

You glisten in the moonlight, are skilled at hiding in trees, and can travel through holes in the night sky. Start with the spell Squash Star. Things you can’t see but you know are there: the moon, the end, the sun, love. Something you have seen: Someone die in the summertime.

Moxie: “Listening to the Frogs with Demon Eyes” by The Flaming Lips

23. Devil Dogs

You are a devil who’s been split into three massive dogs with matted fur and eyes of subtle flame. One dog got your bite (1d6, rending); another, your bile (1d6, poison); and the last, your fire (the spell Incinerate).

Jon Neddo: “Devil Dogs” by Sabaton

24. Disgraced Legionnaire

You were banished from a fallen land to a place beyond the stars. For centuries, you were lost within your own mind. You recently found your way home, riding the wings of dream. You are immune to fire. Start with a simple sword (d6) and the memory of blood on your hands.

Jon Neddo: “Through the Fire and Flames” by DragonForce

25. Doomed Sailor & The Captain’s Corpse

You went down with the ship, abandoned by one you counted as a friend. The corpse of the captain jumped on your back, cursing you with un-life and the strength to survive until your vengeance is served. You carry the corpse with you everywhere, hear its cold whispers in your mind, feel its dank cold comfort through the night. When you are threatened, the corpse animates and blindly attacks the threat (slash/bite/stab). The corpse can be damaged but cannot be killed.

Starling Ridgeway: “Turkish Song of the Damned” by the Pogues

26. Drummer

Start with ceremonial drums and cymbals. You can play the Songs of Happiness, which open the vaults of the heart and make the dark night colorful. Cast the spell Drown in Happiness, with caution.

Brian Vincent Molina: “Malhari” by Sanjay Leela Bhansali

27. El Mark

You are a fashion model famous for your long, black, greased back hair. You can spit napalm (2d6 damage), and you are never sober.

Halohand: “El Mark” by Glassjaw

28. Electric Lady

You got the look the Gods agree they wanna see. Start with the spells Shock, Water to Wine, and Reprogram Mind. Your spaceship leaves at 10:00.

Chris Air: “Electric Lady” by Janelle Monáe

29. End of Days Soldier

One day you emerged from the depths of the ocean. All you want is to feel pain and the bitter taste of blood on your lips, again. When you hear the Thunder of the Drums in your head, get +3 Strength and the urge to fight, kill, and maim. When you hit 0 HP, you hear the Rising of the Horns and are compelled to keep going (regain d6 HP).

Delphi: “Iron” by Woodkid

30. Ex-Diamond Dealer

You start with d6 + 6 blood diamonds sharpened to razors (2d6 soul slice). You know the spells Rain Fire and Rain Power. You can see the true form of Capital Thralls; to others they appear as normal humans, but you see that they are actually in straight jackets, eyes replaced by bloody coins, stumbling toward the nearest stock exchange. You carry the shattered remains of your stupid old cell phone.

Spooky Rusty: “I Used to Hate Cell Phones, but Now I Hate Car Accidents” by Norma Jean

31. Extraordinary

You can sing a Lullaby of Laughter to cause a target to laugh joyfully and uncontrollably, releasing their anxiety and fears and drifting into a deep and peaceful sleep. (Unwilling targets Save to resist.) Casting the spell Freak Self Out causes you to do something utterly unexpected; this action triggers a profound insight about yourself, your current situation, or reality itself. Start with an accidental, opulent succulent.

James Lennox-Gordon: “Anything but Ordinary” by Avril Lavigne

32. Faker

You wear a duster coat (+2 AC) that appears in whatever color, style and material is most likely to influence the viewer. Start with the spell Take Dream and an extra face.

Chris Air: “The Faker” by Ty Segall

33. Famous Preacher

Start with the spells Hypnotize, Infect, and Glamor, d100 GP, and 1d6+6 faithful humans (1hp, 1 damage). You carry an endless chain (d6 damage).

ManaRampMatt: “Leper Messiah” by Metallica

34. First Person Shooter

Of all the Person Shooters, you were the first and are still the best. Start with a pistol (d6), a musket (2d6), and a pack of bullets and powder. When opposed by other Shooters, roll with Advantage.

Delphi: “First Person Shooter” by Celldweller

35. Fool

You have a chalice that is always full of wine, and hand bells that you can ring to cast the spells Hope, Faith, and Damnation. Start at the base of a moonlight gallows, singing a farewell song.

Starling Ridgeway: “At the Gallows End” by Candlemass

36. Gambler

Start with +3 Wisdom, a bottle of whiskey, a deck of cards, and a second deck that’s all aces. You test Luck with Advantage and don’t lose Luck points on successful tests. You know when to hold ‘em, and when to fold ‘em.

Halohand: “The Gambler” by Kenny Rogers

37. Getting into Knives

After seeking wisdom from the sages and consulting master tacticians, you took up knives: start with 2d6. It’s a gift to be simple, it’s a gift to be free.

D. Nivens: “Getting into Knives” by The Mountain Goats

38. Ghost Magnet

You are followed by 2d6 ghastly apparitions that claim to be the soul you are missing. Spread some silver ashes and test Luck to convince them to do something useful. Start with mid-dark thoughts of a great tombstone and memories of the endless sea of sorrows.

Granby: “Phantasmagoria” by Ashbury Heights

39. Ghost Rider

You wear a blue jumpsuit and blaze like the stars. You can summon and ride the ghosts of America’s killed youth. Start with the spell Scream Truth.

Clay Jensen: “Ghost Rider” by Anna Calvi

40. Giant Tiger Fighter

Roll 1d6.

1-2: you are a Giant Tiger gifted in martial arts. Your claws and teeth do 2d6 damage, and you have Advantage when sneaking up on targets.
3-4: you are an Average Human pressed into service fighting against giant tigers. Start with a spear (d6), a bottle of tiger piss, and a body covered in scars. You start with Luck equal to your highest stat.
5-6: you are a Giant seeking revenge against tigers. Your fists and feet do 2d6 damage against anything smaller than you. Start with +2 AC and a necklace of tiger skulls.

Zohla: “Giants In My Field” by Parkas

41. Hand Thief

Start with 2d6 Hands (1HP, poke/scratch) which you have stolen, animated, and trained to be your assistants. You steal other things, of course, but prefer hands.

D. Nivens: “The Hands That Thieve” by Streetlight Manifesto

42. Haruspex

Start with a red, serrated blade (2d6). Drawing blood with your blade casts the spell Foretell Future (whether you want it to or not). You are consumed by rot and mold. Once per day you must kneel before The Shadow Queen.

Kaisa: “Haruspex” by Xoth

43. Headless Thompson Gunner

You are a gun for hire from the Land of the Midnight Sun. Start with a Thompson gun (heavy, 2d6 damage with Advantage), a pouch of bullets, no head, and a vendetta for the bastards who wanted you dead. You cannot be killed.

Sivad’s Sanctum: “Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner” by Warren Zevon

44. Heart of Steel

You arrived riding a comet, flames in your eyes, silent as a heavy stone. Start with +3 HP and the spells Kneel and Bow Your Head. Laugh your cold dark laugh to force a Morale check.

Starling Ridgeway: “Heart of Steel” by Manowar

45. Heir to Despair

You are the demigod offspring of Despair, born of one of their many wretched human consorts. Cast the spell Sigh to drain a target of their will to continue. Use the spell No Light, No Shadow to eliminate a source of light and its shadow. You know the spell Momentary Peace, but have been forbidden from using it.

Kaisa: “Heir To Despair” by Sigh

46. Human Fly

You have 96 eyes and 96 tears. You’ve got a garbage brain, and you don’t care about nothin’. Start with +3 Dexterity and you can fucking fly. You’ll die in 1d20 days. The following day, 1d100+50 of your offspring will be born.

Clay Jensen: “Human Fly” by The Cramps

47. Hunter

You can track anything. Your partner smelled your dark fixation and abandoned you to the hunt. You are trying to learn the spell Organize Freedom. How Scandinavian of you.

IKO: “Hunter” by Björk

48. Hurt

You wear a crown of thorns, alternating with a crown of shit. Start with nine nails and nine needles that you can use to hurt yourself (1d4) and inflict your pain on a target. You carry a bag holding the remains of your empire of dirt. You remember everything.

Gavin the Mystic: “Hurt” by Nine Inch Nails / Johnny Cash

49. Infinity Kisser

You have a history book you don’t really believe in, a crust of garlic bread, and a bunch of dimes. You wink and say things like “kiss the one you are now” and “ash to ask and dust to dusk” and “aren’t we all together?” Start with the spells Free Celestial Body and Accept Alien.

Tyler Chase: “Spud Infinity” by Big Thief

50. Kitten

You carry a cursed Meow Flute, playing magic songs composed by the damned. Anyone who hears must Save or the awful sounds will pierce their brains and tear out their souls (2d6 damage, with Advantage).

Delphi: “Meow Flute” by Bubblegum Octopus

51. L’Enfant Sauvage

There is a light in this world that you fight for. Your Skin is the Sky, the Wolf is your Master, Branches grow through You. Start with the spell Righteous Anger and the memory of a cage.

IKO: “L’Enfant Sauvage” by Gojira

52. Lonesome Ranger

You carry a revolver on your hip, affectionately named “Big Iron” (d6). You have Advantage on ranged duels. Start with a bounty you are chasing (worth 50 G) and a horse named Sue.

ManaRampMatt: “Big Iron” by Johnny Cash

53. Master Killer

You hunt those whom others call “Master,” collecting their minds and souls. Start with four weapons of your choice, advantage when attacking a Master, and 1d6 Master Killer Killers hot on your trail.

Calvin C: “Master Killer” by Merauder

54. Master of Skullcrusher Mountain

Start with a sweet, harmless assistant named Scarface (2HP). They help you manage your packs of wolves (6, 2HD, claws/teeth), direct your Doomsday Squad (4, 3HD, flamethrowers (2d6)), and wrangle your half-pony half-monkey monster (6HD, kick/bite/mock/throw feces). Given a week and the right materials, you can make a monster by combining any number of creatures. You have an unrequited crush and a voice in your head warning you not to kill them, yet.

Mike Westley: “Skullcrusher Mountain” by Jonathan Coulton

55. Memory Vampyre

Once per session, you must feed on another’s memories. Start with the spells Real Illusion, Fall Apart, and Waste Time. You’re alive, but you feel no love.

D. Nivens: “Vampyre of Time and Memory” by Queens of the Stone Age

56. Miss Understanding

You understand everything, and yet you cause those around you to misunderstand everything. Start with +3 Wisdom. Your shapeshifting violin is a key to another universe.

Chris Air: “Miss Understanding” by Kamasi Washington

57. Ogre Hunter

You are a peasant hunting the ogre you believe kidnapped and killed a village child. You carry a small grey hand of the victim, trusting that it points you in the direction of your quarry. Start with a harrow covered in slime, a bloodhound (1d6 bite), and intimate knowledge of the Heath, the Ringing Meadow, the Pool of Plenty, and the Valley of Eagles.

Forstmester Meidell: “Ogre (The Parents Crusade)” by Richard Dawson

58. Organ Donor

You can remove any of your organs and give (or sell) them to others (take 1d4 damage per removed organ). Don’t worry, they’ll regenerate. Start with a scalpel (1d6) and a bottle of antiseptic.

Clay Jensen: “Organ Donor” by DJ Shadow

59. Owl Sparker

You come from the Temple of Boom, strolling in the way of the Buddha masters. You can commune with owls and get them really, really high. Start with a duffel bag full of chocolate thai, indo, skonka, award-winning Maui Waui, Mexican green, Meefrakan, Crypt, yesca, andHumboldt County.

IKO: “Spark Another Owl” by Cypress Hill

60. People Vulture

God approaches, and you are their herald. You are a 7-foot tall vaguely human thing with a vulture head, sharp, rending beak (d6 damage), and massive black wings. Start with the spells Tainted Voodoo and Disappear. You can teleport to the closest dead human body, which you proceed to devour (once per rest).

Kaisa: “People-Vultures” by King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard

61. Periodic Ghost

Your eyes fade as you search endlessly through the void. You carry thousands of fine, strange shards (1d6 damage) that can embed into wounds and open doors in time. Your transitions between ghost and non-ghost are random, sudden, and utterly beyond your control. All you want is to be free.

Ryan Bell: “”The Ghost I Used to Be” by Pallbearer

62. Perturbator

Whenever you sleep you have a terrible, accurate vision of someone lying dead. Start with the spells Plead to Void, Bleed Dawn, and Last Kiss. Your very existence pushes everything around you out of balance.

Twisky1608: “EXCESS” by Health, Perturbator

63. Player of Cold

The wise know that “cold” is just an absence of heat, and you are a master of that absence. Start with the spells Chill Touch, All Hail, and Ice Dagger. There is a precious jewel where your heart once was..

ManaRampMatt: “Magic” by Coldplay

64. Potential Homo Superior

Start with +5 Wisdom and a copy of Alistair Crowley’s biography. You know the spells Dream Reality, Viper’s Fang, Enter Bardo, and Divine Symmetry. Anytime you cast a spell, lose 1 Wisdom as you sink in the quicksand of your thought.

Delphi: “Quicksand” by David Bowie

65. Pumpkinhead

You are the last of your species. Once per day, you can remove your head and set it on eldritch fire: throw it as a bomb to cause 2d6 area damage (mystic burning). Your head grows back by midnight.

Starling Ridgeway: “The Ballad of Peter Pumpkinhead” by The Crash Test Dummies

66. Puppet Master

Start with the spells Pull Strings, Twist Mind, and Smash Dream. You start with three human puppets (2hp) under the control of your invisible strings. You rage uncontrollably at those who seek to copy you or won’t call you Master.

Jessica Marquardt: “Master of Puppets” by Metallica

67. Rage Rat

You are a large, naked Rat Person (d6 scratch/bite), desperate to be called “The Chosen One.” Test your Luck to channel your rage, temporarily gaining +3 Strength; on a failed roll you are stuck in an invisible cage for d6 rounds.

Starling Ridgeway: “Bullet with Butterfly Wings” by Smashing Pumpkins

68. Recluse

You sleep alone and you wake alone, in the bed you once shared. Your only possession is your ex-lover’s notebook, filled with words you barely understand. Once per day, flip through it to discover a random spell; you forget it after casting. You don’t want to finish anything, anymore.

Halohand: “The Recluse” by Cursive

69. Regulators (for 2 characters)

You are a pair of highly trained regulators in an important industry. You are always high. One of you carries a gun and knows the spell Freak Mode. The other carries a sword and knows the spell Step to This. One of you gets the glory; the other, the paperwork.

ManaRampMatt: “Regulators” by Warren G ft Nate Dog

70. Sick as Fuck

You are in your prime, but you’ve been bled dry. Start with a black hoodie, clenched fists (2d6 damage), broken chains, and a key to the empty place inside you. Start with the spell Too Much Animosity.

Jon Neddo: “Nero Forte” by Slipknot

71. Sin Citizen

Start with a bag of diamonds and a bag of dust. You only consume caviar and champagne; start with 2d6 servings. Your friends Fingers Freddie and Diamond Jim are always nearby, ready to help (for a price).

Anonymous: “Sin City” by AC/DC

72. Sonic Rebel

You have a battered leather jacket studded with metal and safety pins and a big patch that reads “Fuck the Ancient Ways” (+1 AC). Casting the spell Sonic Onslaught, you can amplify any sound into a deadly cacophony.

D. Nivens: “Ancient Ways” by Interpol

73. Sorrow Harvester

Start with the spell Invade Nightmares and a silver scythe you can carry into dreams (2d6). Speaking the language of the mad, you weep what you sow.

ManaRampMatt: “Harvester of Sorrow” by Metallica

74. Statue of the King

You are made of smooth, hard stone (+2 AC). Your crown is a beacon, your sword is covered in moss. You don’t remember your time as King, but you know the names of all your warriors and the spell To My Side.

Jon Neddo: “A Statue of the King” by Avatar

75. Strange Formation

Your first memory is of being beneath a statue, weeping. You are thousands of shards of glass, glistening this way and that, reflecting the starlight from which you may have come. You don’t remember anything. But you know that, somewhere, she loves you.

D. Nivens: “Mace Spray” by The Jezabels

76. Straw Worker

You turned your back on singing, and now you work with straw. Narrow your eyes to cast the spell Leave it Alone. Feel the vibrations deep in your bones to cast the spell Find Home. When you don’t like someone’s song, cast the spell Bleed Words.

ManaRampMatt: “Seven Nation Army” by The White Stripes

77. Subterranean Homesick Alien

Start with a fond memory of your recent alien abduction and a small collection of home movies they gave you. They “taught” you the “spells” Lock Up Spirits and Breath of Forgetting. You are no longer so uptight.

Moxie: “Subterranean Homesick Alien” by Radiohead

78. Sun Killer

Start with a knife (2d6) forged in a dying star; it consumes any blaze it touches, physical or emotional. You can sing anyone to sleep. You were born to break.

John Thomas: “Sun Killer” by Spiritbox

79. Super Rich Kid

Start with 4d20+20 gold, your family’s sommelier (hireling, d6+1 HP) carrying 1d10 bottles of wine you can’t pronounce, and your loyal dealer (hireling, d6+6 HP) holding too many bowls of that green. Spend 1 gold to reroll Luck rolls, and you are entitled to twice your fair share of group treasure.

Jamie STATIONS: “Super Rich Kids” by Frank Ocean

80. Super Trouper

Start with a fabulous performing outfit, a microphone, and the spell Shine Like the Sun. All you want to do is eat and sleep and sing.

Clay Jensen: “Super Trouper” by ABBA

81. Temper

When you are stressed, roll d6 to determine the temperament that overwhelms you:

Withdrawn
Depressed
Anxious
Fixated
Hyper
Furious

When you are not stressed, you can use the spell Temper Temper to influence a target’s mood or beliefs.

IKO: “Temper Temper” by Goldie

82. The Book of Right On

You are the living embodiment and latest incarnation of the eternal Book of Right On. Fortune finds you fit and able, your fighting fame is fabled, and you can kill your dinner with a karate kick (unarmed attacks do 1d6 with Advantage). Start with +2 Wisdom and Dexterity, and the spells Right On and Read Me.

Blake McStravick: “The Book of Right On” by Joanna Newsom

83. The Eight Who Are One

In ancient times, eight Mages who hated one another conspired to create a ritual that would grant them immortality. This angered the Gods, who cursed them to walk the Earth in a shared body until the End of Time. Each Mage knows a powerful spell. Role d8 after every rest to see which Mage is in control; the others watch in horror.

The eight Mages and their spells:

Kats, Spit Void
Uhi, Consume Matter
Iko, Split Memory
Mae, Fold Space
Eda, Stop Time
Oba, Collapse Spectrum
Ke, Puppet Mind
Noble, One Hundred Eyes

Kaisa: “The Octuple Personality and Eleven Crows” by World’s End Girlfriend

84. The Guitar

You are known only as “The Guitar.” You have no other name, no age, no known place of birth or ancestry. You carry an old beat-up six string that has possessed you. You can play any song ever written; test Luck to play the exact song someone needs to hear. Any damage done to your guitar is transferred to you.

Starling Ridgeway: “The Guitar” by Guy Clark

85. The Man Who Sold the World

You are the ghost of your former self, roaming for years, searching for form and land, staring at the remnants of humanity with a gazely gaze. Start with vast wealth, hazy memories of mass death, and the belief that you never lost control.

Moxie: “The Man Who Sold the World” by David Bowie

86. The Spirit of Radio

You travel at the speed of light and cannot be seen, only heard in song and a friendly voice. You can cruise the invisible airwaves to blast out of anyone’s turned-on radio, bearing a gift without price. You crackle with electric, timeless energy. Start with the spell Make Mood.

Moxie: “The Spirit of Radio” by Rush

87. Time Collector

You see time as a constantly shifting, prismatic fractal stream of crystal fragments, which you collect to replay and rearrange. Start with three cherished Time Fragments and the spell Improvise Memory. You can stare directly at the sun.

Cige: “Fragments of Time” by Daft Punk

88. Turbo Killer

You reside on a giant floating cyber-cross in outer space. You wear a black hooded trench coat and a gas mask with glowing orange eyes. By grasping hands with the avatar of your ship, you can manifest on a nearby planet, driving a very cool, very fast car.

Todd A McFarland: “Turbo Killer” by Carpenter Brut, music video by Seth Ickerman

89. Two-Headed Dog

You are a massive, anthropomorphic canine, and you recently lost your job at the Kremlin. You left with your severe black business suit, some important files, and the human jerky that you crave. You carry a poison-tipped umbrella (d6 damage, victims must Save or die).

Robert Coleman: “Two Headed Dog (Red Temple Prayer)” by Roky Erickson

90. U₃Buzz Basic

You only taste ash, smell smoke, see the world in hazy gray. You know the spells Undo and Think of Fire. Whenever you succeed at a roll, add one to your “Burn” tracker; when you hit eight, you erupt into flame that consumes you and anything you are touching, reducing you to a pile of ash. The next day, you rise again from the ash.

D. Nivens: “Rise” by Zamilska

91. Vengeful Mariner

You have a musket (1d6), a holy relic from your time as a vestry-keeper, and your mother’s dying wish: find him, bind him, tie him to a pole. You start in the belly of a giant whale.

D. Nivens: “The Mariner’s Revenge Song” by The Decembrists

92. Volcano

You appear as an average human, but are actually the avatar of an ancient volcano. You are immune to heat and fire. What appears to be your skin is, in fact, a layer of magma. Anyone or anything that touches your flesh is likely to sink in and burn. Raise your fist to cast the spell Burn the Veil.

D. Nivens: “Volcano Is Me” by Raised Fist

93. Voodoo Chile

You wear a Venus Witch’s Ring that allows you to exist both here and a million miles away, simultaneously. You can speak to lions and ride on eagles. Start with the spells Desire Arrows and Summon Hummingbird. Once per day you must float in a liquid garden or dust yourself with red sand.

Chris Air: “Voodoo Chile” by Jimi Hendrix

94. Wandering Stranger

You come from the sunset, from the sea, from sorrow. Cast the spell Come Wander to entice others to join you.

IKO: “Come Wander with Me” by Jeff Alexander

95. Wayfinder/Waymaker

When you are presented with a seemingly intractable obstacle, test Luck to try to find a way around it. If you fail, describe how you will make your own way through the obstacle; you get Advantage on that attempt. You trust in ancient Gods and your heart of steel.

D. Nivens: “Find a Way or Make One” by Amon Amarth

96. Wayward Son of Man

You were made in God’s own image, a formless shadow. You collected splinters of bone and willed them into a humanoid exoskeleton (+ 4 AC). When you detect hollowness, conceit, or vanity in others, you may cast Blazing Body to ignite yourself: anything you touch must Save or be incinerated.

Mat Cathcart: “Set Your Body Ablaze” by Shai Hulud

97. Winnebago Warrior

You have guidebooks, a Polaroid camera, a CB radio, a folding chair, and Doritos to feed to the bears. You drive a Winnebago with a trailer full of souvenirs. You think you’re as brave as old John Wayne.

Clay Jensen: “Winnebago Warrior” by Dead Kennedys

98. Wonderboy

You come from a castle made of clouds, high and proud above the mucky-muck. You stole the spells Mind Bullets, Flight, and Move You from your arch-rival Young Nastyman, .

Johnny Hall: “Wonderboy” by Tenacious D

99. Young Lover

You just want to love, but your daddy’s got a gun, and he’s always stalking you. Start with lots of drugs, some punk friends, and a new lover with a gun of their own (1d6).

Wiredscreen: “Hayloft II” by Mother Mother

100. Zone Stepper

You can step into the Twilight Zone and stay there for up to five minutes. When you return, test Luck. On a failure, a Shade Beast follows you (6hp, shadow claw). On a critical failure a Shadow Self replaces you. Start with an obsidian blade (2d6).

Starling Ridgeway: “Twilight Zone” by Golden Earring

Three Bonus Oopsy Bastards

Dirty Deed Do-er

You’ll do any dirty deed for dirt cheap. Start with three dirty deeds that you can always do (with Advantage). Anytime you do a new deed for cheap, you can do it with Advantage from that point on. You carry a battered suitcase filled with cyanide, TNT, neckties, and contracts.

Kerry Wilkinson: “Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap” by AC/DC

Skull Crusher

Your clenched fists do 2d6 damage (with Advantage when striking skulls and the meatskin around them). Snorting the powder of a crushed skull gives you the being’s power for d6 years.

Marty V: “Skull Crusher” by Man is the Bastard

Spectra Sonic Sound

You have sugar teeth, gums that bleed, and a razor voice. You wear a fancy black suit stolen from a ghost. Start with 1d6 pieces of sticky candy and 1d6 pieces of chewy candy. You can snort confection on demand, temporarily becoming a ghost of pure sound.

Justin: “Spectra Sonic Sound” by Nation of Ulysses

Bastard Flavor: Tables & Generators

I search the bastard …

d100 items to find on bastards and/or just lying around

#	Item	#	Item	#	Item	#	Item
1	A cheating heart (packed in salt)	26	DEAD FLOWERS	51	Maps	76	Resurrection fern
2	Alien sphere	27	Dead man’s diary	52	Marijuana	77	Russian doll
3	All-seeing eye	28	Didgeridoo	53	Mayonaise	78	Sacred text: The Teaches of Peaches
4	Angel’s claw	29	Dirty cutlass	54	Memory shard	79	Salt
5	Anti-matter	30	ECSTASY OF ST. TERESA	55	Midnight wine	80	Samurai sword
6	Bad self portraits	31	Ether	56	Milk & codeine	81	Scroll of Sorrow
7	Beef jerky	32	Flag of Fate	57	Mood ring	82	Silent metal
8	Black cherry	33	Forbidden apple	58	Mouth of God	83	Sister’s Blade
9	Black diamond	34	Fury whip	59	Music box	84	Skeleton key
10	Blood drawing	35	Girl god gun	60	Nailgun	85	Sleeping pills
11	Body parts	36	Goatfuzz	61	Noise maker	86	Small hat
12	Bodybag	37	Grass amulet	62	Nutmeg	87	Snake wand
13	Book of Bad Decisions	38	Heavy bells	63	Oatmeal	88	Sōlar blade
14	Bottle of rum	39	Heavy crown	64	One way mirror	89	Spikes
15	Broken friendship bracelet	40	Honey	65	Pamphlets	90	Spine Of God
16	Cat food	41	Hot knife	66	Paper crown	91	Sun medallion
17	Cheat codes	42	Houseplants	67	Paprika	92	The Book of Love
18	Cherry blossoms	43	Hymnal	68	Peacebone	93	The Eye of Ra
19	Cherub rock	44	Impossible knots	69	Peaches	94	The Queen’s head
20	Chimes	45	Jar of hearts	70	People’s faces	95	Time in a bottle
21	Cloak of Feathers	46	Kaleidoscope	71	Persuasion system	96	Tongues
22	Cool soda	47	Key of Solomon	72	Power glove	97	Two snakes
23	Crispy duck	48	Light armour	73	Pseudo bread	98	Vampire money
24	Crow mask	49	Lithium	74	Purity shards	99	Wisdom eye
25	Crystal sword	50	Lucky clover	75	Ray’s foot	100	Worms

with suggestions from Ryan Bell, John Card II, Kaisa Järvelä, and Eric Swanson

You quirky bastards…

d100 quirks for your bastards

#	Quirk	#	Quirk	#	Quirk	#	Quirk
1	A dozen pair of cartoon eyes	26	Empty	51	Invisible face	76	Real easy on the eyes
2	A lonely twin	27	Everyone’s darling	52	Jaw like a fuck-off bear trap	77	Red right hand
3	A message etched into your spine	28	Eyes black and shiny as boots	53	Kinky love	78	Restless leg
4	Always rambling	29	Fantastic kisser	54	Lightly sedated	79	Rottweiler smile
5	An empty shell	30	Fazed out	55	Lo fidelity	80	Sentimental
6	Attracts ghosts	31	Forever heavy	56	Locust laced	81	Severed vision
7	Avoids all eye contact	32	Frail and bedazzled	57	Lovely smile	82	Simple heart
8	Beautiful, but bleak	33	Free spirit	58	Milk-mouth	83	Small and efficient
9	Been in a cage 400 days	34	German haircut	59	Motoreyes	84	Stomps everywhere
10	Bees won’t leave you alone	35	Goddess eyes	60	Mute as a rock	85	Strange claws
11	Big mirror of a smile	36	Golden diva	61	Mutilated lips	86	Sweet bod
12	Big teeth	37	Golden teeth	62	Nervous laughter	87	Tattooed
13	Blind as the ocean’s mind	38	Gonna snap	63	Never cry	88	Terrified
14	Bullet proof	39	Greasy hands	64	Not afraid of ghosts	89	Thirsty
15	Burning eyes	40	Half bird	65	Occassional demons	90	Too weird to live, too rare to die
16	Burning fuse knitted into your bones	41	Half dog	66	Oozing a brand-new cuneiform	91	Vampire smile
17	Can’t remember where you came from	42	Half machine	67	Pale as a banshee sun	92	Wanderlust
18	Cold hands	43	Hand crushed by a mallet	68	Phony voice	93	Wasted
19	Craving miracles	44	Hears fake voices	69	Photosynthetic skin	94	Weak flesh
20	Cries for no good reason	45	Heart of glass	70	Pilgrim side eye	95	Weightless
21	Crooked teeth	46	Hive mind	71	Platinum skull	96	White skin / tanned teeth
22	Crow skeleton wings	47	Holy touch	72	Precious & perfect	97	Wicked sense of humour
23	Denies all gods	48	Humble	73	Predisposed to madness	98	Wild imagination
24	Down with the sickness	49	Immature	74	Primal	99	Wolf scent
25	Eaten by worms	50	Implanted memories	75	Rabbit ears	100	Young and happy

with suggestions from Ryan Bell, Dr. Mary C Crowell, Kaisa Järvelä, and Leigh Way

Where ya from, ya bastard?

d100 places of origin, or last known location

#	Location	#	Location	#	Location	#	Location
1	A castle in the air	26	Chrome Country	51	Mount Everest	76	The Danger Zone
2	A chat room	27	Combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell	52	Mouth Mountain	77	The factory of raw essentials
3	A digital eternity	28	Crystal Run	53	New Orphan Asylum for Spirited Deerchildren	78	The Falling Veil
4	A dream house	29	Dark ruins	54	Night City	79	The Garden of Lust
5	A drone maze	30	Desert sands of Venus	55	Planet Caravan	80	The hadal zone
6	A faraway moon	31	Deserted dunes	56	Polygonwanaland	81	The Highway to the Stars
7	A freak train	32	Desolation Row	57	Recycler 1a	82	The House of Light
8	A holy forest	33	Divine Wasteland	58	Recycler 1b	83	The House of Starbucks
9	A mansion full of other’s people’s skulls	34	Doom City	59	Saturday City	84	The Infinity Farm
10	A mass grave	35	Eternia	60	Shores of Mutilation	85	The Last Oasis
11	A Perfect Earth	36	Eye City	61	Slaughter Beach	86	The Lawless Lands
12	A prayer factory	37	Glue World	62	Specter’s Castle	87	The Lost River
13	A pressure chamber	38	Gnashville	63	Strangeland	88	The Merry Barracks
14	A timehole	39	Graceland	64	Sun City	89	The Ocean of Tears
15	A voice plantation	40	Heaven	65	Sushi Temple	90	The Ozone Clone Zone
16	A workshop behind the old arcade	41	Hell	66	Temple of Angels	91	The People’s Square
17	An alien sphere	42	Kingdom Falls	67	Temple of Null	92	The Planet of Straw Men
18	An amusement park on fire	43	Land of Honey	68	The Abyss Mouth	93	The Pulsar Palace
19	An Eden portal	44	Land of the Lords	69	The Altered World	94	The River of Souls
20	An immense endless belt of faces	45	Land’s End	70	The Black Star	95	The Sea of Trees
21	An orgasm theatre	46	Mad City	71	The Blood River	96	The Undimension
22	Archive Seven	47	Main Street	72	The Cloud Monolith	97	The Western Union
23	Between memories	48	Melting houses of gold	73	The Cosmic Cave	98	The White Sea
24	Blood River	49	Memory’s prism	74	The Court of the Crimson King	99	The You Garden
25	Cannibal Capital	50	Mojave Desert	75	The Crack of Doom	100	Widow City

with suggestions from Ryan Bell, Jessica Marquardt, and Eric Swanson

4d20 Bastard Generator

Roll 4d20… this is your bastard now

(Italics indicates a Spell)

#	Background	Ability	Item	Quirk
1	Blue Lotus Adept	Summon Hummingbird	Extra face	Fading eyes
2	Sun Killer	Reprogram Mind	Human jerky	No head
3	Candy Man	Fold Space	Poison-tipped umbrella	7 feet tall, vaguely human
4	Cave Dweller	Dirty deeds	Gas mask	Consumed by rot and mold
5	Sorrow Harvester	Karate kicks	Knife forged in a dying star	Bleed words
6	Kitten	Whisper to Water	Intimate knowledge of the Valley of Eagles	Feel no love
7	Infinity Kisser	Drown in Happiness	Crust of garlic bread	Immune to heat and fire
8	Skull Crusher	Tainted Voodoo	Crown of thorns	Five eyes, all blind
9	Periodic Ghost	Smoke anything	Hat made from a squirrel you killed	Glisten in the moonlight
10	Human Fly	Invade Nightmares	Battered leather jacket, studded with metal and safety pins, with a big patch reading “Fuck the Ancient Ways”	Heart of steel
11	Ghost Rider	Track anything	Musket	You remember everything
12	Organ Donor	Improvise Memory	Fancy black suit stolen from a ghost	Branches grow through you
13	Electric Lady	Behold Terror	Imaginary map	Your skin is the sky
14	Two Headed Dog	Play any song ever written	Pale blue hooded robes	The wolf is your master
15	Dark Destroyer	Mind Bullets	d6 brains in jars	Massive black wings
16	Demon Eyed	Spit napalm	Bottle of booze	Sick as fuck
17	Vengeful Mariner	Bleed Words	Ceremonial drums and cymbals	Crackle with timeless electric energy
18	Famous Preacher	Fire Eyes	Urn of silver ashes	You only taste ash, smell smoke, see the world in hazy gray
19	Gambler	Commune with owls	2d6 sentient, animated hands	Actually the avatar of an ancient volcano
20	Sonic Rebel	Sing anyone to sleep	A shapeshifting violin (key to another universe)	You come from the sunset, from the sea, from sorrow.

Bastard Collections

These lucky ~~backers~~ bastards got to submit multiple prompts!

Band of Bastards (5)

Chris Air’s Band of Bastards

1. Blue Lotus Adept

“blue lotus” by Sweeps

2. Electric Lady

You got the look the Gods agree they wanna see. Start with the spells Shock, Water to Wine, and Reprogram Mind. Your spaceship leaves at 10:00.

“Electric Lady” by Janelle Monáe

3. Faker

You wear a duster coat (+2 AC) that appears in whatever color, style and material is most likely to influence the viewer. Start with the spell Take Dream and an extra face.

“The Faker” by Ty Segall

4. Miss Understanding

You understand everything, and yet you cause those around you to misunderstand everything. Start with +3 Wisdom. Your shapeshifting violin is a key to another universe.

“Miss Understanding” by Kamasi Washington

5. Voodoo Chile

“Voodoo Chile” by Jimi Hendrix

Clay Jensen’s Band of Bastards

1. Ghost Rider

You wear a blue jumpsuit and blaze like the stars. You can summon and ride the ghosts of America’s killed youth. Start with the spell Scream Truth.

“Ghost Rider” by Anna Calvi

2. Human Fly

“Human Fly” by The Cramps

3. Organ Donor

You can remove any of your organs and give (or sell) them to others (take 1d4 damage per removed organ). Don’t worry, they’ll regenerate. Start with a scalpel (1d6) and a bottle of antiseptic.

“Organ Donor” by DJ Shadow

4. Super Trouper

Start with a fabulous performing outfit, a microphone, and the spell Shine Like the Sun. All you want to do is eat and sleep and sing.

“Super Trouper” by ABBA

5. Winnebago Warrior

“Winnebago Warrior” by Dead Kennedys

Delphi’s Band of Bastards

1. Black Emperor

“Fire at Static Valley” by Godspeed You! Black Emperor

2. End of Days Soldier

“Iron” by Woodkid

3. First Person Shooter

Of all the Person Shooters, you were the first and are still the best. Start with a pistol (d6), a musket (2d6), and a pack of bullets and powder. When opposed by other Shooters, roll with Advantage.

“First Person Shooter” by Celldweller

4. Kitten

“Meow Flute” by Bubblegum Octopus

5. Potential Homo Superior

“Quicksand” by David Bowie

Halohand’s Band of Bastards

1. Candy Man

The Candy Man” by Sammy Davis Jr.

Candy Man (alt. take)

STATIONS: “The Candy Man” by Aubrey Woods, Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (soundtrack, 1971)

2. Chauffeur

You drive any vehicle with perfect, practiced professionalism. Start with the spell Sing Blue Silver and a mind full of glass splinters. Engines drone in time with your beating heart.

“The Chauffeur” by Duran Duran

3. El Mark

You are a fashion model famous for your long, black, greased back hair. You can spit napalm (2d6 damage), and you are never sober.

“El Mark” by Glassjaw

4. Gambler

“The Gambler” by Kenny Rogers

5. Recluse

“The Recluse” by Cursive

IKO’s Band of Bastards

1. Hunter

You can track anything. Your partner smelled your dark fixation and abandoned you to the hunt. You are trying to learn the spell Organize Freedom. How Scandinavian of you.

“Hunter” by Björk

2. L’Enfant Sauvage

There is a light in this world that you fight for. Your Skin is the Sky, the Wolf is your Master, Branches grow through You. Start with the spell Righteous Anger and the memory of a cage.

“L’Enfant Sauvage” by Gojira

3. Owl Sparker

“Spark Another Owl” by Cypress Hill

4. Temper

When you are stressed, roll d6 to determine the temperament that overwhelms you:

Withdrawn
Depressed
Anxious
Fixated
Hyper
Furious

When you are not stressed, you can use the spell Temper Temper to influence a target’s mood or beliefs.

“Temper Temper” by Goldie

5. Wandering Stranger

You come from the sunset, from the sea, from sorrow. Cast the spell Come Wander to entice others to join you.

“Come Wander with Me” by Jeff Alexander

Jon Neddo’s Band of Bastards

1. Dark Destroyer

“Indestructible” by Disturbed

2. Devil Dogs

“Devil Dogs” by Sabaton

3. Disgraced Legionnaire

“Through the Fire and Flames” by DragonForce

4. Sick as Fuck

“Nero Forte” by Slipknot

5. Statue of the King

“A Statue of the King” by Avatar

Kaisa’s Band of Bastards

1. The Eight Who Are One

The eight Mages and their spells:

Kats, Spit Void
Uhi, Consume Matter
Iko, Split Memory
Mae, Fold Space
Eda, Stop Time
Oba, Collapse Spectrum
Ke, Puppet Mind
Noble, One Hundred Eyes

“The Octuple Personality and Eleven Crows” by World’s End Girlfriend

2. Baby Criminal

“Baby Criminal” by Viagra Boys

3. Haruspex

“Haruspex” by Xoth

4. Heir to Despair

“Heir To Despair” by Sigh

5. People Vulture

“People-Vultures” by King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard

Moxie’s Band of Bastards

1. Atom Heart Mother

Once per day, birth a new element: a novel and powerful combination of particles and forces. Describe the power it gives you. Once you use its power, it grows up and leaves for another dimension.

“Atom Heart Mother” by Pink Floyd

2. Demon-Eyed

“Listening to the Frogs with Demon Eyes” by The Flaming Lips

3. Subterranean Homesick Alien

“Subterranean Homesick Alien” by Radiohead

4. The Man Who Sold the World

“The Man Who Sold the World” by David Bowie

5. The Spirit of Radio

“The Spirit of Radio” by Rush

Armies of Bastards (10)

D. Nivens’s Army of Bastards

1. Church Ghost

You can hear emotions, find anyone that is hidden, and see through scars. You know that souls cannot actually be tainted. Start with the spell Eternal Merge. You glow faintly like a candle.

“Cirice” by Ghost

2. Getting into Knives

After seeking wisdom from the sages and consulting master tacticians, you took up knives: start with 2d6. It’s a gift to be simple, it’s a gift to be free.

“Getting into Knives” by The Mountain Goats

3. Hand Thief

Start with 2d6 Hands (1HP, poke/scratch) which you have stolen, animated, and trained to be your assistants. You steal other things, of course, but prefer hands.

“The Hands That Thieve” by Streetlight Manifesto

4. Memory Vampyre

Once per session, you must feed on another’s memories. Start with the spells Real Illusion, Fall Apart, and Waste Time. You’re alive, but you feel no love.

“Vampyre of Time and Memory” by Queens of the Stone Age

5. Sonic Rebel

“Ancient Ways” by Interpol

6. Strange Formation

“Mace Spray” by The Jezabels

7. U₃Buzz Basic

“Rise” by Zamilska

8. Vengeful Mariner

You have a musket (1d6), a holy relic from your time as a vestry-keeper, and your mother’s dying wish: find him, bind him, tie him to a pole. You start in the belly of a giant whale.

“The Mariner’s Revenge Song” by The Decembrists

9. Volcano

“Volcano Is Me” by Raised Fist

10. Wayfinder/Waymaker

“Find a Way or Make One” by Amon Amarth

ManaRampMatt’s Army of Bastards

1. Ace of Spades

You are a gravedigger who dreams of winning big at games of chance. Start with your ancestral spade that can dig through any surface (2d6).

“Ace of Spades” by Möterhead

2. Actress

Start with a script, a black dress, a hardened heart, and +1 Wisdom. Test Luck to convincingly impersonate anyone.

“Cleopatra” by the Lumineers

3. Boxer

Your fists are deadly weapons (d6). You have +1 Strength and +1 Dexterity. You are always able to find poor, hidden lodgings known only to The Ragged People. Start with a pocket full of mumbles.

“The Boxer” by Simon and Garfunkel

4. Cave Dweller

“The Cave” by Mumford & Sons

5. Famous Preacher

Start with the spells Hypnotize, Infect, and Glamor, d100 GP, and 1d6+6 faithful humans (1hp, 1 damage). You carry an endless chain (d6 damage).

“Leper Messiah” by Metallica

6. Lonesome Ranger

You carry a revolver on your hip, affectionately named “Big Iron” (d6). You have Advantage on ranged duels. Start with a bounty you are chasing (worth 50 G) and a horse named Sue.

“Big Iron” by Johnny Cash

7. Player of Cold

“Magic” by Coldplay

8. Regulators (for 2 characters)

“Regulators” by Warren G ft Nate Dog

9. Sorrow Harvester

Start with the spell Invade Nightmares and a silver scythe you can carry into dreams (2d6). Speaking the language of the mad, you weep what you sow.

“Harvester of Sorrow” by Metallica

10. Straw Worker

“Seven Nation Army” by The White Stripes

Starling Ridgeway’s Army of Bastards

1. Bomb

“The Bomb” by Pigeon John

2. Child of the Rising Sun

“The House of the Rising Sun” by The Animals

3. Fool

“At the Gallows End” by Candlemass

4. Coffin Carrier

“I Carry the Coffin” by Ghoultown

5. Doomed Sailor & The Captain’s Corpse

“Turkish Song of the Damned” by the Pogues

6. The Guitar

“The Guitar” by Guy Clark

7. Heart of Steel

You arrived riding a comet, flames in your eyes, silent as a heavy stone. Start with +3 HP and the spells Kneel and Bow Your Head. Laugh your cold dark laugh to force a Morale check.

“Heart of Steel” by Manowar

8. Pumpkinhead

You are the last of your species. Once per day, you can remove your head and set it on eldritch fire: throw it as a bomb to cause 2d6 area damage (mystic burning). Your head grows back by midnight.

“The Ballad of Peter Pumpkinhead” by The Crash Test Dummies

9. Rage Rat

“Bullet with Butterfly Wings” by Smashing Pumpkins

10. Zone Stepper

“Twilight Zone” by Golden Earring

Credits

Writing by STATIONS.

Prompts from our wonderful Kickstarter backers.

PDF version coming March 2023 will have illustrations and additional acknowledgments.